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You sat on the couch lazily with a book. It was a slow Friday afternoon and you had literally NOTHING to do. You weren't even wearing proper clothes, all you wore was a shirt Switzerland had given you for your birthday. It was on clearance, so it really didn't fit, it was too long and almost went down to your knees.

You closed your hardcover copy of Lord of the Rings and yawned. Flopping onto your back, you watched the sunlight streaming into the room. This day was so slow, it would have been more fun watching paint dry. As your eyes started to close, the doorbell rang and you got up with a groan. What now?

Walking to the door, you twisted the door handle, but as soon as you did, the door swung inward and crushed you against the wall.

Three men strutted in like they own the place, at the head of the little group was a very familiar albino. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled.

"YO! _____! Vhere are you?!"

You pushed the door and it slammed shut as you peeled off the wall. He looked at you and then blushed as he saw what you were wearing. France and Spain saw as well and they both blushed. France and Prussia actually got a small nosebleed, Spain being less perverted than the other two countries turned his head away.

"Mon ami~ Did you 'ave to wear so much~"

France cooed from behind Prussia as he 'kesesesed' when he saw your blush. He smirked and sent you a wink.

"Ja, aren't you a little hot in zhat shirt frau?"

They started howling with laughter when your face turned as bright as a tomato. Spain turned around and started cooing, repeating a phrase that sounded like "SO CUTE! She looks like a tomato~"

You growled and a frying pan magically materialized in your hand. They were all busy with their own "activities" (No, it's not meant to be dirty) so they took no notice to the cast iron skillet in your hand. At least until it was brought down on Prussia's head with a loud clang. He gripped the top of his head before sending a glare your way and shouting in an overly loud voice.


You set the frying pan on the ground and glared down at the cringing country before smiling at him.

"Elizabeta told me that I should get one just in case you guys came over."


"Ohonhonhonhon~ Mon ami, my dear _____ would not dare lay a finger on my beautifu-"

You brought the frying pan down on France's head violently and smirked with the corner of your mouth twitching slightly in irritation, as he fell into a similar position as Prussia.

"You're right. I wouldn't lay a finger on you. But I have no problem giving you a concussion with my new frying pan."

You walked past them and brandished the frying pan threateningly as you smiled at Spain. He shook slightly and smiled back nervously.


"S-Si, chica?"

"Would you like to add anything to whatever your friends said?"

"N-No... I-I'm fine..."

You nodded before looking down at the other two, still cringing, countries. You set the frying pan back down on the ground again before sighing and stretching.

"What did you guys come here for anyway?"

"Vell, ve vere just going to invite you to a bar in town frau."

You blinked and then frowned. Going to a bar wasn't really your thing... Come to think of it, you weren't very big on social events at all.


"Great! We'll pick you up at six! Good-bye for now, mon ami~"

With that, the trio left without even letting you make your decision. You sighed and glanced at the clock. 5:30. You only had 30 minutes. Just f***ing fantastic... Oh well, better get ready now.

~Time Skip to 6:00~

You settled to wear a strapless (f/c) dress, it had an open back that ended just above your ass. It sparkled every time you moved and you had decided to go without a bra, just to tease the trio. You wore heels that came about 3 inches off the ground and were the same color as your dress. The only accessories you had were small, silver, moon shaped earings and a matching golden, sun shaped necklace. You had decided to let down your (h/l) (h/c), just slightly curling the ends.

"When are they going to get here?"

As if on cue, the doorbell rang and you opened the door. Behind it was none other than the Bad Touch Trio. They were all in suits ranging in colors.

Spain had a red dress shirt with a black jacket and a matching black and white tie. France had a blue dress shirt with a white jacket and red tie. Prussia had a blue dress shirt and black jacket with a white tie.

You blinked and adjusted your black shoulder bag before noticing that they were staring at you. Your eye twitched when you saw that they were mostly staring at your chest and drooling slightly.

"I'll give you guys five seconds to stop staring at me before I give you all concussions with my frying pan."

They all stood at attention and Prussia grabbed your hand while France kissed your cheek and Spain wrapped an arm around your waist.

"Looking good, frau."

"Ohonhonhon~ You look beautiful, mon ami~"

"You look nice chica~"

You wrenched away from them and started to walk down the driveway to the car. You were trying your hardest to fight down a blush and growled.

"Let's just get moving..."

~At the Bar~

When you walked in, all the countries gaped at you. You began to feel self-conscious and buried your face into Prussia's jacket, causing him to blush wildly and pet your head awkwardly.

"I-it's okay frau. Y-you look f-fine... Get your f-face out of my s-shirt, ja?"

Spain and France snickered behind Prussia, earning a hard glare from the Prussian. They stopped chuckling until he turned around again, they started laughing as they saw his whole face turn red when you gripped onto him tighter.

You slowly pulled away and rushed to a table in the corner, hoping to be ignored by all the other countries at the bar. But your hopes were dashed to the side when America, Italy, Spain and Romano came to drag you out of the corner. Literally. Two countries grabbed each of your arms and dragged you to the bar.

Germany handed you some beer and raised an eyebrow at you when you gave the glass a weird look. You hadn't tried alcohol before, and you weren't sure you wanted to start now.

"Vhat's vrong _____? It's just beer."

And soon, with a bit of coaxing from other countries, you took a small sip from the glass. You let out a surprised noise, it didn't taste as horrible as you had expected. Soon, you were done with that glass, then a second one... Then another one... And another one...

~7 beers later~

You drunkenly walked through the bar to where the (surprisingly sober) Bad Touch Trio were happily talking with the Allied Powers. They gave you curious looks as you collapsed on top of Spain in a giggling fit.

"Hey *hic* have I *hic* ever told you *hic* guys that I love ya~"

You slurred your words together and kept giggling as the trio stared at you with wide eyes.

"Uh... _____? Are you okay frau?"

You blinked and then snickered, earning a confused look from both the Allies and the BTT. After a few good-byes, Spain picked you up bridal style and walked out of the bar. You looked at the three countries and giggled again before looking at Spain.

"Hey... Toni, could you set me down for a sec?"

He raised an eyebrow before setting you down anyway. You teetered slightly before smiling at the three men before you. You looked at Prussia first and planted a kiss on his lips. He looked at you with shocked wide eyes before you moved onto France, receiving the same look from him as well. You then kissed Spain before giggling at them and speaking to them in turn.

"Ich liebe dich. Je t'aime. Te amo."

Before they could respond, you yawned and collapsed, France caught you before you made contact with the ground. They all blushed and then smiled as they took you back to the car.

~Next Morning~

You woke up in an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar bed. And a pounding headache. You gripped your head and yawned.

"Ugh... What am I doing here? Where am I? What happened?"

At that moment, the door opened and the Bad Touch Trio walked into the room and smiled at you.

"You're finally awake chica~"

Spain walked over to the bed and hugged you tightly before rubbing his cheek against yours. You smiled and pet his head affectionately, he could be so childish at times and you thought it was adorable.

"So, frau. You really do, ja?"

You blinked and looked at the Prussian in confusion.


"Mon ami! You don't remember?"

You shook your head and the Bad Touch Trio smirked before sitting next to you.

"Zhen maybe zhis vill jog your memory."

They leaned in close to you, France planted a kiss on your right cheek while Spain got your left and Prussia kissed your lips. You blushed as they pulled away.

"Te amo."

"Ich liebe dich."

"Je t'aime~"

You blushed as red as a tomato before smiling and hugging them. They hugged back and smiled triumphantly before sending each other each a thumbs up, Prussia's hand snuck down your back and groped your ass. You yelped and pushed them all away and started throwing whatever you could at them.

It started out as pillows, it didn't deter the BTT until you ran out of the fluffy feather filled objects. When it came to the hard stuff that could actually cause pain, they bailed. You threw a book, a cup and a lamp. The lamp managed to hit Prussia square in the face and he ran out of the room while cussing in German before leaning into the room and smirking while holding his broken nose.

"Oh! By zhe vay, nice ass!"

Then he got hit in the face with a frying pan that had materialized in your hand.


After that outburst, he ran out of the room to tend his damaged face. you sighed and massaged your throbbing temples.

"I am NEVER going to the bar AGAIN!"
Tell me what you think of the story. BTW, the cover image isn't mine.
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Cinnamon-Badass Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015
Nice aim, especially when the reader has a headache. Haruhi Suzumiya Emote - Thumbs Up 
hetalovergirl Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015
I swear I'm going to KILL France and Prussia. Spain gets to live because he isn't as much of a perv as the other two.
madame-North Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nice von. That vas awesome!
souleater12191 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"oh by zhe vay, nice ass!" XD that part i almost died 
sarabaylee9 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013   Digital Artist
Me:don't ever touch me like that again or else I'll kill you slowly
Me: your the only one that groped me
Me: I love you Spain and France!
Spain and France: love you too!!!
:iconsexyfranceplz: :iconsexyprussiaplz: :iconsexyspainplz:
TheChosenOne14 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
X D hahaha oh man lidia i wub dis
Otakutsundere-2000 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013
This is so AWESOME!!!
Pokepal5 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Me: YOU BETTER RUN! Except for Toni he wasn't a total perv.
Toni: Yay! I'm safe!
Me: By the way, your only safe because of that favor. Ever lift me up again and i'll cut your balls off. Oh Francis and Gilbert, dearest?
France & Prussia: Yes?
Me: When i'm through with you two, your balls will be in a jar. *Frying pan and butcher knife mysteriously materialize*
France & Prussia: Shit.
3771 Featured By Owner May 26, 2013
I think that's exactly what I would've done if I were at a bar with the BTT. They're just so awesome, so awesome that THEY'RE MINE. MINE ONLY AND MINE FOREVER.
BeijingLovesScones Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I WILL KILL WHOEVER TAKES MY AWESOME BIG BROTHERS AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!! Or at least who ever takes großen Bruder Preußen...
SegaRocker21 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Are they yours? OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND O.O!?!?!!
MichieXStrawberry Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ahahaha gatta love the frying pan and how it always mysteriously shows up! Love it, great job!
Theatrefreak123 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
Lesson learned-Never get drunk with BTT.....
karks1992 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
Ha very funny brilliant story I loved it :)
vocaloidanimefan Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow I would bring a frying pan too! XD lol
emimarie-chan Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist
Someone applying their violent side to their characters? Heh jkjk. Anyways I think you did a very good job at sort of setting a background for people who don't know very much about the characters *me* and it's not like you have to know everything to get that it's funny and that some of the characters are a bit perverted. Sorry let me ask an ignorant question here, but is there a specific character that the girl is, like what country is she, or is she an OC? Sorry hah ^-^. The writing over all was pretty awesome. One thing that bugged me (sorry, just trying to help, and if anything I say comes off rude it was unintended) The part where it says: "With that, the trio left without even letting you make your decision. You sighed and glanced at the clock. 5:30. You only had 30 minutes. Just f***ing fantastic... Oh well, better get ready now." I know it's from the characters point of view and that might be how they think, but I don't think swears should be used out of quotes..? I don't know sorry it just added something a bit too aggressive to the writing or something. Sorry not meant to be offensive just trying to help ^-^
Also get ready to be spammed by me, heh. (:<
emimarie-chan Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist
OOH!!! I just got the answer to my ignorant question, ignore that part please. I went to go read the next story and had an epiphany when I read the beginning, heh.
IchbindesPreuBen Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wouldn't say neverXD
Cutiebat99 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Pffft ohmahgosh This is seriously hilarious!
scarlettmoon1 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That was amazing! MEIN GOTT! xD
RadioGirlhaspizza Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Love it! :D
Soulkun4eva Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Photographer
I would love to hit Prussia in the face with a frying pan!!!!!
DreamerRenuki Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
OMG! that was soooo fun to imagine one of my characters there (i had to she fits perfectly in that situation!) im a coward arn't i? oh well. #DealWithIt
kayniakaya Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
This was one of the funnies BTT stories I've read and I love it! I could see this so happening! X3
Homestuckluv Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Icewind505 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
Lol! I'm glad you like the story! Thank you!
Homestuckluv Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha your welcome :]
ScarletMoon-98 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I HAS A FRYING PAN BICHES!!!! Prussia better run!!!
Awsome story!!!
Icewind505 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks~ I'm glad that you enjoyed the story :3
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